Everyone who has ever coached someone, offered advice, or otherwise tried to help a friend, family member or colleague has probably faced this dilema at least once – trying to help someone who does not want to be helped. In my case, the help was originally sought after and then the person backed down out of fear and now claims that the issue for which they needed my help doesn’t really exist and the situation was blown out of proportion.
It is frustrating to be in a position where you know you can help someone overcome a difficulty or ease a suffering, or break through a barrier, and they make a decision for whatever reason to back away from the help that they need.
I have learned through my coaching journey that we need to respect the decisions of our clients even when we think they are on the wrong course, that we can’t impose our values on others and sometimes we have to respect choices they make that we know will hurt them. Easier said than done when you are in the middle of it.
I am dealing with my particular situation by making sure I have done everything to make myself available to the client if they change their mind and by giving them the space to do what they want. Part of me wants to jump in and “rescue” the person. Under the circumstances it would likely blow up in my face. I’m not an easy “detatcher” so this, I think, will be one of the hardest things for me as a coach.
